Reach Out

Up until about two and a half years ago, I can honestly say that I never felt truly like myself, and I had absolutely no clue why. It seemed like everyone around me had everything figured out already, and somehow I had missed the boat, train or airplane that those people had gotten on to find their calling.

Having grown up as the middle of three kids in my family, I had gotten used to having my rises and falls compared consistently. I was also a slower learner growing up in school, and that frequently set me back amongst my classmates. As a youngster, I didn’t think anything of it, but as I matured, I slowly started to understand what that would mean down the line. I had no idea why I was so different, but it seemed like everyone around me did. Regardless, I kept a determined smile on my face and hope in my heart that someday, somehow, all of that shame that I was so good at hiding would eventually disappear.

September is National Suicide Prevention Month. While I have never tried to commit that very final act of ending it all, there are a handful of deep mental scars from times in my life that I’d rather forget. I won’t go into too much detail there, but I do want to draw on the steps in which I’ve come out of those dark mindsets. These are by no means sure-fire and guaranteed to work for each individual, but I want to do my part in removing the stigma centered on mental health, anxiety and depression and start a discussion on healing, recovery and giving your life everything you possibly can.

Acknowledge it.

As the saying goes, “knowing is half the battle”. I’m not sure of who came up with that, but it’s pretty right on the nose. Nobody can truly look at themselves in a mirror and say that absolutely everything in their life is and has been perfect and that they truly regret nothing. We all have things in our past that hold their own consequences, and in turn, we’ve all had to learn some tough life lessons the hard way. Masking and internalizing that shame that results from those consequences rather than looking at it straight in the eye head-on can only create mountains (rather than bridges). If you find yourself constantly asking “What if?”, you’re going to find yourself wondering the possibilities of life instead of actually living them. This is truly the hardest step, but the battle can be won if you give your life a chance to take it.

Know who’s on your team.

The more significant times in my own life where I’ve tried to escape from or hide my true feelings mostly revolve around grieving losses of relationships. This can be due to the drifting apart of friends, the breakup of an intimate relationship, or the death of a loved one. We have all likely experienced at least one of these losses, but might deal with them in different ways. I’ve found that reaching out to my “team” has always helped me at least in some small way to get through the toughest of obstacles. These people have been there for me in different areas and stages of my life, and while their words might be different, their messages are relatively similar. They want me to be happy, healthy and moving forward in my life. I hold them accountable for their supportive words and wishes, but they in turn hold me responsible to act.

Take baby steps and know your worth.

Nothing worth going for is ever easy, as one must acknowledge all the steps it took to get there. Sometimes those steps toward that dream began years ago, or maybe it starts today. The choice of how and when to start is up to the individual, but regardless of both, we need to put one foot in front of the other to start moving forward. Baby steps can turn to a hustle if we just keep trying our best to not let other things get in the way. My mother’s best advice to me was that “happiness is the best revenge”. Not that I would ever wish bad things on anyone, but she made me realize that if others can’t see the value in what I uniquely bring to the table, it’s up to me to realize it and move on to a better situation.

If any of you are going through some rough times right now, I hope you know that your life is worth reaching out for. We’ll never know how long we have in this life. Keep on, and know you’re loved for exactly who you are.